There is always a better perspective.

My thoughts are cloudy today. I often believe myself to be clear-headed... But tonight has been different. I'm all over the place.

The thing that has had me most irate recently has been some of the research I've been doing. I've already hit a wall with just about everything I'm involved in. It really has me wondering... Perhaps even the most motivated of individuals run into those instances where they feel as though everything has slowed down. That's how I feel right now, and I'm desperately trying to pick things up again.

I've been in search of new projects, but I'm still currently in the middle of entirely too many. Sometimes a person's worst enemy is their inability to recognize when they've taken on too much. Their inability to step back and say, "What I have here is enough. I need to solve one problem before I move on to the next. I need to finish this project before I begin a new one." This has always been a weakness of mine. I'm always looking for new ways to expand my inner-knowledge that I tend to reach system overload, on occasion. 

I need to try and look at it from a different angle, as there is always a better perspective.

It could be taken as borderline ambitious. But the position that I'm in has been so self-limiting. I want access to experimentation. I want to be able to conduct formal research and break free of the textbooks and journal articles. I want real results.

It all takes time. I understand that. But I'm so eager to get things moving in my life that my impatience become a resistance to the entire process. Because I hit these metaphorical walls, and I get frustrated. The need to find patience within myself has become essential in my life. But I never want you to think that it's easy for me, or anyone for that matter. It's just something that we need to learn. After all, patience is one of the seven heavenly virtues.

I've realized that I'm in an early part of my journey in becoming a physician, and I can already tell that it won't be easy. But I have a solid support system, a good head on my shoulders, and an eagerness to succeed. I know I will make an excellent doctor one day, and while it all seems so far out of my reach right now, it's closer than it feels. I just need to remember that it is of the utmost importance that I find patience within myself, so that when the time comes for me to live up to my potential... I'll be ready.